If you truly want to get back together with your ex after a break up, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself.  You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won’t wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place.  It’s always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times that both of you had together.  It’s important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and the bad times.

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on and to leave this behind you. If they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn’t a healthy relationship.  If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them.  If your relationship overall was a good one, and they weren’t abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Firstly, Pestering and pushing your ex is a bad idea.  If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you’re going to do more harm than good.  They will see this as a sign of desperation.  This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you like you mean in the first place.

Don’t argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It’s easy when you and your mind are all alone.  Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done.  Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why they did it.  Now, you’re probably beating yourself up over them.  You probably wish you had never done those things.  The past is the past.  This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over.  You can’t go back in time, though you probably wish you could.  Concentrate on what is going on now and what is important now.  The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them.  Make promises how you’ll change, etc…This won’t help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one.  You’ll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you’re allowing them to think about you and miss you.  You’ll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

Follow this advice and answer the question “can you and your ex get back together?” alone…

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If you really want you can win your love back. Let me give you an example.

Katie made a major mistake. She saw Brad talking to her best friend Andrea and thought he was flirting with her. Katie worked herself into a fury and broke up with Brad.

It turns out that he was really consulting Andrea on how to put together a surprise romantic Valentine’s date. He was really hurt that Katie would think so little of him and didn’t want to have to do anything to do with her after that.

You may think that you can not win your love back after such a situation. But let me tell you what Katie did to get Brad back.

Brad wasn’t talking to her, so she couldn’t discuss the situation with him. But she could write him a letter. She got some nice paper and hand wrote an apology. She admitted that she had flown off the handle. She also told him what she liked about him and about the relationship. Finally, she expressed gratitude for his thoughtfulness in planning a romantic date.

Then, she shut up. She didn’t call, text or email him for a week. By not pestering him, she gave him time to work through his emotions.

After a week, she sent him a short and sweet “thinking of you” email. She kept it casual.

Brad was obviously nuts about Katie because he was willing to go to the trouble of impressing her on Valentine’s day. But, he was also hurt. Because Katie had apologized and given him time to work through his emotions, he was able to respond to the “thinking of you” email.

The night he got the email, he called Katie. She tried to keep things light and fun. Brad appreciated that. So, he suggested they meet for coffee and Katie agreed.

Katie went out of her way to look like a million bucks. She wore the earrings Brad had given her for Christmas and she put on the perfume that he liked so much.

Katie decided that she would only talk about positive things. She especially tried to bring fond memories into the conversation. She also asked about his family because that would reinforce their shared history and closeness.

Brad appreciated this. He loved Katie and didn’t want things to end. But, he didn’t want a repeat of the situation either. He needed to be reassured that their life together wouldn’t be filled with needless drama. He also needed to know that talking to another woman wouldn’t set off fireworks.

The couple agreed that they would take the relationship to a less intense level. They would really court each other again. They would stop taking each other for granted.

A year later, Brad and Katie agree that the break up may have actually saved their relationship over the long haul. While Katie initially flew off the handle, her calm handling of the situation afterward made it possible for them to move on. She showed you can win your love back.
We hope that this example will help you to win your love back.

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If  you need some tips on making up with your boyfriend this post is for you.
Here are some useful tips that were helpful for me on making up with my boyfriend few years ago:

1) Men don’t like chit chat: Generally speaking men don’t like to talk in depth about their feelings and  forcing the issue will just cause them to clam up even more. So when you are trying to get back together, don’t force your boyfriend to analyze what went wrong. If he behaved badly but is willing to apologize, accept it and move on fast.

2) Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time.  This is  true so don’t try and fight against  it. Very few  men can multitask and it is their genetics that are to blame so shouting at him is pointless.  The sooner  you accept that your boyfriend cannot listen to you while reading his newspaper or watching TV the better. Most of the time, he is not ignoring you on purpose. The more you try to understand that this is the way he is programmed the less arguments you will have.

3) Men like toys. The joke is that men never grow up and show it by still playing with toys.  Most men love to build things and start different DIY jobs. Not all of them like to finish these jobs which can cause many problems at home. Let your man indulge his hobbies, within reason. You can spend some time with your girlfriends while your boyfriend is fishing or building a boat. By compromising like this, he will probably be much more willing to spend time with you doing things together that you both enjoy.

4) Don’t assume that your man knows that you want to make up with him. Men in general tend to be a bit slow in picking up signals especially about their own relationships. For this reason, you sometimes need to be very direct  and tell them exactly how you feel. Men don’t like games unless they understand the rules like in Golf or Chess. Us women change the rules on dating more often than men change their shirts so we need to give them a short break if they get a little confused.

5) Have you heard the joke – “Why does it take loads of sperm to fertilize one egg?  Because they refuse to  stop for directions!”  I know the men in my life would prefer to get lost, than admit defeat and stop to ask for directions.  Generally men find it very hard to admit they are wrong. If you question what they say, they can believe you are implying they have done something wrong.  This can cause problems in many modern relationships as women are so used to being the boss at work and giving others directions.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that women need to become door mats or defer to their partners. But a little understanding of genetics goes a long way to help resolve your question of making up with my boyfriend.

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