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One day a good friend of mine asked me: “Why there is no such thing like class called relationships 101 in college? They offer math, physics, literature and tons of classes, but a class on relationships is something that could help everyone.”
My answer was very simple, I told him: “Fortunately, you have the skills already to save your relationship and make it better without needed a relationships 101 course.”
Now, you need to understand that most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. There are just a few relationships that should not be saved, like those that are abusive or really miserable. But most of the relationships have the potential to be fixed. That will be lesson number one in our relationships 101 class.
The main problem is, people don’t understand the porential and give up too soon. They are angry, hurt, upset and it just seems easiest to get out of the situation that made them that way. It’s way too easy to focus only on what is going on now, and not on the past.
If the relationship was good to both sides at one point, and most were or no one would have stayed in it very long, then it really can be that way again. Unfortunately people have to look past the anger and the problems that are happening now, and remember those good times that they have in their relationship. That is the only way they will even want to try to use the relationships 101 theory to save the couple.
To cause further problems, often one side is ready to work hard at saving the relationship. But the other person will not look past the bad to remember the good. That person is ready to chuck it all away. And can only one person save the relationship?
Sometimes one person alone can do it, but it is very hard. It is hard to stay positive and hopeful when your ex doesn’t act or feel the same. It can start to feel like you are fighting a battle that you lose before it even started.
That’s take us to relationships 101 lesson #2: Keep fighting the battle, because even if the relationship does not heal, it will make you a better person.
It will mak you a better person because the things you will do to try to save the relationship are simply good for you, and good for your ex, too.
It is very important for you to remember the way you behaved with the relationship was new and going strong. Compare that to how you behave with the same person now. Turn things around by acting the way you used to, and doing the things you used to do.
Strive to be polite again just as you were in the beginning of the relationship. Be thoughtful and be a good friend to the person every time you can, even if you are not going to get anything out of it.
Don’t beg your partner to come back, tell them they need to come back, or tell them what will happen if they don’t come back.
When faced with someone acting in this way, would you want to be with that person again? Tell yourself that you will survive no matter what happens, but do your very best to show them the person they want to be with again. Be the best “you” no matter what is the best relationships 101 lesson there is.
Do it and you will have a good chance to save the relationship and to be happy again.
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