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How To Find A Good Marriage Counselor

Posted by Mike & Dianne. Comment (0).

How To Find A Good Marriage CounselorSince marriage is in the greatest crisis in the history of marriage, we are desperately searching for a way to repair them. we’ve explored all sorts of options, from books to group session to therapy to counselors.

The most common method is hiring a marriage counselor.

Are there any secrets as to how to find a good marriage counselor?

I can give you several important hints in how to find a good marriage counselor, if you are sure that a counselor is the best chance for your marriage.

Most importantly, you need to decide what is most important about to you personally. Let me explain what I mean.

Some people just feel like they need to talk and someone needs to listen. Others want a mediator to sit between you and your spouse and..well, MEDIATE. Others want someone to tell them what to do.

What do you want?

This is very important for you to define this for yourself as part of how to find a good marriage counselor for your specific needs.

Nest, you also need to define your values. Are you against divorce? How to you feel about separation? These may seem like dumb questions, but let me give you a few stories to help explain how to find a good marriage counselor for YOU.

I knew a couple that went to a counselor. He suggested that they each have an affair and then see if that changed how they felt for each other. Ummm…

Another counselor insisted to a couple that divorce was the only answer, while the couples religious views prohibited divorce.

Another couple saw a counselor that insisted on mediating, when the wife just needed a neutral person to talk to about how she was feeling.

So all of these personal values and objectives play a HUGE part in how to find a good marriage counselor.

Every marriage counselor is probably good in one area or another. But not ever counselor will be good FOR YOU.

In fact, if you think about it, what you really need to do to save your marriage is to learn to communicate with your spouse honestly, respectfully and frequently (something that Lee H Baucom for example explains in great details inside his Save The Marriage ebook).

When you improve in these areas, many of your relationship problems will begin to disappear. WHile you decide how to find a good marriage counselor, maybe it would help you (well, I KNOW it will help, I’m just being polite!) to apply these few communication tips.

Take 5 minutes each day to be alone with your spouse to talk. Make it your goal to share one joke, funny quote or one happy memory that you had together.

After a week, add another 5 minute conversation session. You can prepare 5 questions for your spouse. They should be questions like “What would you do if you could learn anything you wanted? What sport would you like to do if you had the time? What kind of songs would you write if you were a musician?” These are ‘get to know your mate,’ type of questions. These types of questions help you discover your mate all over again and help reestablish broken communication channels.

I hope these tips for how to find a good marriage counselor will help you, and best wishes to you!

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